My Protege Stabs Me In The Back

Turns out my little Randall Scott protégé hasn’t been listening to my advice after all. Since he started here I’ve been telling Collier Wright, our afternoon sales rep, to strategically fail classes in order to remain in college for as long as he can. Being a little older and wiser, I’ve taken Big-C under my wing and let him in on some secrets regarding post college life – like once you finish college, you have to start paying for it – and you also have to pay for rent, food, health insurance, sex……. and when you graduate Theo Epstein isn’t going to offer you a job in the Red Sox front office just because you haven’t missed a game since freshman year - and when you get a job there’s most certainly an attendance policy and it’s called be here everyday or Randall Scott will fire you faster than Michael Jackson can sign up for a Home Alone marathon – and when you go out on Thursday night and drink 20 beers you’ll be hung over for two days, not two hours.

(Me and Big-C)


So Big-C has a leg up on all the other 21-year-old stallions he runs with, knowing the ominous fate that awaits him after he accepts that evil diploma. However, despite my guidance I recently found that Big-C has 4.0 GPA. Perhaps his parents have been contradicting my counsel, or maybe today’s youth have no interest in heeding the advice of a washed-up Marketing Director who constantly brags about how many points he scored in last Tuesday’s Men’s League game – but mark my words Big-C, once the last note of ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ has been played, hanging out in the freshman dorms is officially not cool.

Well, I’m not mad at you Big-C. If you want to take the fast track and graduate in four years, it’s your prerogative. Grad School you say? I’ve been there, done that Big-C. People actually do the reading and you’re expected to participate in class. Oh, but you already know that, and probably like it – getting this 4.0 behind my back

So Big-C, we all wish you the best on your finals this week, and if, for some reason, you don’t ace them all, just tell your parents it was my fault. If anyone wants to send Big-C a care package(he loves oatmeal cookies), or some advice, send it to:

Randall Scott Cycle Company attn: Backstabber Wright
2897 Mapleton Avenue Suite 100 - Boulder Colorado - 80301