Red Sox Lose Opener, Boston on Suicide Watch

Curt Schilling has a new change up, and it’s about as elusive as David Ortiz on a skateboard. The Schill on the Hill gave up about five earned in four innings, ruined my fantasy team’s ERA, and had every Bostonian wearing tie wondering if they should just end it right now.

The vaunted offense didn’t inspire too much confidence either. Lugo, the new leadoff, ran out of ways to strike out after the sixth inning. Maybe we’ll have to give Coco another shot it – oh, he went 0 for 3 and is battling Varitek for the most awkward swing the MLB. Looks like The Greek God of Walks, Kevin Youkilis, may have to spend another year in the one slot and further his legacy as the only leadoff man in baseball history to run a 6.8sec forty.

(Slow Down Man)

Maybe I’m being a little harsh. I know we only scored one run, but we were facing Gil Meche, the KC ace, who last year had a sparkling ERA approaching 6.0 and a fastball that almost hits 90 sometimes.

At least we got to hear Remdog’s diatribe on bag lunches, and I could smell the fresh cut grass now that NESN broadcasts in HD.

If Epstein would ever answer my phone calls he’d realize that sending Papelbon to BALCO and having him pitch eight innings a game would almost guarantee a World Series birth, and in interleague play he’d probably be good for 20+ homers.

To end on a brighter note - my seven year old cousin came over while I was watching the game, and as I watched her cruise around the living room there was one thought that kept popping into my head and bringing a huge smile across my face, “she’s never seen the Yankees win the World Series.”