The World is Mine!

Most people who have been riding bikes for a little while feel it is only normal that a company should sponsor their fascination with two wheels. Thus the sponsorship bug hits them and along with it comes grand illusions of free clothes, bikes and equipment. So they fire off a few emails or letters to companies and bikes shops while making room in the garage for the boon sure to follow…and then nothing happens…and then come the blanket of disappointment. No helmets, no jersey, no wheels, no free bike…drat!

Sponsorship is a tricky game. Most people assume since they won, or placed, in a race with their spouse sitting in a lawn chair along with 8 other people, they deserve a full ride with some bike company or shop. They have the wrong idea about what sponsorship is about. Who was second in the Tour de France last year? Don’t know, do ya? See what I mean? Millions of people watch and attend that race and 98% of the people can’t even name second place in the biggest bicycle race in the world!

So what do sponsors want? Exposure for their product or services. They want an energetic face that supports the sport and the product. They want a representative to show and tell people how good a product is and how it works. They want an athlete that coaches others or teaches clinics. They want a body that influences others in a positive manner (and a manner that would make other people buy their sponsor’s product). Of course great race results will help get through more doors and bring in bigger sponsors but results aren’t the only way into the sponsor’s heart.

So to help you get sponsored, I have attached the letter I sent out this year for sponsorship. Happy hunting!

Dear Sponsor:

Ron Burgandy in Anchorman said it best: “I don’t know how to put this but, I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.”

When I heard (insert company name here) was receiving resumes from Elite Athletes I immediately thought I should send mine since I am one of the most Elitist Athletes that I, and everyone else, should know. It is really quite simple…I am glorious and the world should, and does, know it. So…If I am “pimping” your product it is a win-win all around. I get free sh*t and you get a representative that will be competing on a domestic scale in triathlon, road racing, MTB, running, track and drinking games jacked up on Cytomax, Optygen and Viagra (why do you think my eyes are so blue?). God only know how many bored housewives will get a look at me and want whatever I am “selling.”

I would list all my great race results but that information is under a box of medals and trophies that is honestly too heavy to lift. Last year’s Christmas card had a picture of me in a bathtub, naked, covered in all my medals from competing. Who needs soap on a rope when I have 1^st in my age-group at some park in Georgia? The important thing is what I plan on doing. I will grace a couple races with my presence from California to Florida and leave no GU packet undisturbed.

The bottom line is I am a whore and I know how to get people excited about whatever is inside the gravitational pull of my ego. With a head this big you can bet there is a lot of “pull” for the products Max uses (please note the 3^rd person reference). It will be a banner year for the elitist in me. I hope your company (insert name here) can be part of the magic.

Get it while it’s hot!

Max Drop