Suckerfish

OK…it is a busy Monday but I had to stop and comment on this insanity. Keep in mind it is from a design competition so there is room for the imagination. It is called the “Bike Remora.” It is based off of the Remora Fish that hitches rides off of other fish. By the way, please note that this fish is also called the “Suckerfish.” Because as a society we all love the freeloaders and this fish and this invention are no exception.

The Bike Remora uses “a silicone coated magnet to secure itself to the automobile.” Of course safety is an issue and the Bike Remora has a safety leash that “wraps around the wrist of the cyclist and when pulled upon, the magnet recesses in to the shell of the Bike Remora’s body, thus becoming unattached to any surface." Funny, I don’t see any mention of a bullet-proof remora shield to protect the cyclist from the 9mm artillery blowing through the rear window of the vehicle that they decided to “hitch” a free ride from. The mindset of this invention is based on a day when “respect falls onto the pedestrian or cyclist.” [Insert more rambling text here] “Because of the car’s impact on the environment, it will be in debt to the common cyclist, and will happily take on a couple “remoras.”

I started a new paragraph because I wanted to give you time to laugh aloud or run to the bathroom due to this interesting take on relationship between cars and cyclists. I would have to say: Make like Aerosmith and “Dream On.” It seems like in the future (of crazy people that is) that Catholic Guilt and global warming will be the reason that cars will want a bunch of cyclist freaks hitching a ride uptown. Yeah, I said freaks…come on; anyone with a detachable magnet in their hand trying to suck onto a car is…well… a freak. Here’s an idea…why don’t we just pedal our own bikes and not use cars as the “escalators” of the open road. Maybe we will all be better off keeping our hands and “remoras” to ourselves. A word to the “suckerfishes” out there: Last time I grabbed onto the trailer of a landscaping truck, from my bike at a red light, I almost got a lawnmower thrown on me.