Faster Than You Think

If you think you are fast in this town give it five minutes. This is Boulder and there is speed to be found trickling out of garden hoses in the middle of the night. This is a fast town. This town deserves the indoor track just for the insanity of it all. Ridiculously banked corners made of plywood that roar underneath like a heard of mustangs on a 10-second path of bending tires and twitching grey matter.

You can’t buy a banana in this town without walking though the air-stream of another Boulder hammer. You better not have hot dogs and Twinkies in that cart sucker. This town is tough. You can’t even get a bag for your milk. Recycle or die! You can take that plastic bag hording, trans-fat soaking, beer and a cigarette habit back to Long Island! NASCAR and Golf? Not in this town, not if you want a prayer of seeing the front of a pack. Hell, this guy sits at the desk next to me! This town is full of talent, speed and power.

Bikes are different in this town. They don’t sissy around ribbons of paved ebony glass. In this town you might want to start getting used to Vittoria Open Corsa EVO 700x25’s for the roads that turn into dirt at the top. As if the descents weren’t enough to send folks from the Mid-West packing, try them after winter when a good measure of sand and gravel has been dumped in the corners…for traction of all things!

I’m blessed to be here and I will be cursed, and will curse, if I ever have to leave. As for those of you that haven’t made it here yet: Don’t come here! We’ve got enough pros, tri-gods, wannabes, never was, and never wills here. There is sure to be plenty of room in Fort Collins or Denver. Your five minutes are up…do you still think you are fast?

The World is Mine!

Most people who have been riding bikes for a little while feel it is only normal that a company should sponsor their fascination with two wheels. Thus the sponsorship bug hits them and along with it comes grand illusions of free clothes, bikes and equipment. So they fire off a few emails or letters to companies and bikes shops while making room in the garage for the boon sure to follow…and then nothing happens…and then come the blanket of disappointment. No helmets, no jersey, no wheels, no free bike…drat!

Sponsorship is a tricky game. Most people assume since they won, or placed, in a race with their spouse sitting in a lawn chair along with 8 other people, they deserve a full ride with some bike company or shop. They have the wrong idea about what sponsorship is about. Who was second in the Tour de France last year? Don’t know, do ya? See what I mean? Millions of people watch and attend that race and 98% of the people can’t even name second place in the biggest bicycle race in the world!

So what do sponsors want? Exposure for their product or services. They want an energetic face that supports the sport and the product. They want a representative to show and tell people how good a product is and how it works. They want an athlete that coaches others or teaches clinics. They want a body that influences others in a positive manner (and a manner that would make other people buy their sponsor’s product). Of course great race results will help get through more doors and bring in bigger sponsors but results aren’t the only way into the sponsor’s heart.

So to help you get sponsored, I have attached the letter I sent out this year for sponsorship. Happy hunting!

Dear Sponsor:

Ron Burgandy in Anchorman said it best: “I don’t know how to put this but, I’m kind of a big deal. People know me.”

When I heard (insert company name here) was receiving resumes from Elite Athletes I immediately thought I should send mine since I am one of the most Elitist Athletes that I, and everyone else, should know. It is really quite simple…I am glorious and the world should, and does, know it. So…If I am “pimping” your product it is a win-win all around. I get free sh*t and you get a representative that will be competing on a domestic scale in triathlon, road racing, MTB, running, track and drinking games jacked up on Cytomax, Optygen and Viagra (why do you think my eyes are so blue?). God only know how many bored housewives will get a look at me and want whatever I am “selling.”

I would list all my great race results but that information is under a box of medals and trophies that is honestly too heavy to lift. Last year’s Christmas card had a picture of me in a bathtub, naked, covered in all my medals from competing. Who needs soap on a rope when I have 1^st in my age-group at some park in Georgia? The important thing is what I plan on doing. I will grace a couple races with my presence from California to Florida and leave no GU packet undisturbed.

The bottom line is I am a whore and I know how to get people excited about whatever is inside the gravitational pull of my ego. With a head this big you can bet there is a lot of “pull” for the products Max uses (please note the 3^rd person reference). It will be a banner year for the elitist in me. I hope your company (insert name here) can be part of the magic.

Get it while it’s hot!

Max Drop 

Round and Round

The Boulder Indoor Cycling facility opened its doors this past weekend and RS Cycle in the resplendent team green was there to rock the boards and check out the amazing 142 meter track with 45 degree corners. Here is just a sample of the action in Boulder.