Today’s Forecast: Heavy Storms of Irony

Over a foot of snow has fallen in Randall Scott’s hometown of Boulder, Colorado, and with it came plenty of car accidents. There was one in particular that warmed me up inside, even with the freezing temperatures. The Boulder Police Department’s Accident Investigation was on patrol when it ran into a, lets just say, iced sheet of irony. The van slid into a parked Lexus on the side of the road. I was fortunate enough to have it happen right in front of my house where I promptly got a picture of it. The driver of the van was unfortunate enough to have it happen in the middle of a college town, right at the time when students were walking to and from class. Accident Investigation gets into an accident??? The Irony is overwhelming.

Do Today's Reality Shows Stack Up - We'll Find Out

When I think of Reality TV, I remember the real Real Worlds. Maybe I was young and naïve, but Real Worlds New York through San Francisco seemed a little more authentic than any of the reality TV I have caught since. Puck, Eric Nies, David……I mean these guys were genuine Dbags, not just fabricated alter egos for the tube, but true bedwetters.

(Can Reality TV of today compare with that of yesteryear? Real World San Fran.)

Today, almost regardless of the how the show is set up, it seems you fill the quotas: a few frat guys, a few minorities, a homosexual, a raging bi#@!, a virgin, someone artsy, and then let the insanity ensue. I’ll admit, I haven’t consistently watched a reality show since the aforementioned San Fran Real World – but that’s about to change. Along with the other responsibilities that have me working here 70hrs a week, my boss has decided that my job description now includes a weekly review of no less than two new reality shows. Yes – bike company combined with Reality TV – brilliant.

While it’s on my mind, I’d like to correct the earlier comment I made regarding Real World San Fran being the last reality show I watched. The last reality show I got caught up in was Joe Shmoe, and it was amazing. So, it was set up like Survivor or Big Brother, where everyone votes to see who stays, alliances are formed, physical challenges can give you immunity for a week, and the last one standing wins an exorbitant amount of money. Well, in Joe Shmoe, everyone is an actor accept Joe. This poor guy is the only one who thinks the show is real, and the actors do a great job of ruthlessly playing with his emotions - - - if you can find it on DVD it’s a great holiday present, and if you can get past the inherent immorality of the shows objective, it really is hilarious.

(Joe Shmoe shocked and appaled)

Anyway, I have to pick a couple reality shows to get into, and I’m open to suggestions. I have no choice but to watch Laguna Beach, as mandated by my boss. But after that the world is my oyster - from Real World to The Bachelor to whatever else is out there. Please write in to let me know to which program I should subject myself, and inevitably become addicted to.

Randall Scott Cycle Company Searches for Bigfoot

Well, looks like Randall Scott Cycle and Iron Horse can add a new section to their resume – Bigfoot Hunter. Little did we know, when we sold Jason Walker an Iron Horse Azure Expert in July, that the bike was going to be used to hunt the legendary Bigfoot. Jason recently sent us some pictures of the setup he uses to track and hunt Bigfoot (and all you animal activists would be happy to know that he only hunts with cameras, and has no intention of hurting the friendly monster).

So, looks like all you need to catch a Bigfoot is a supertruck with ground effects, a Soloflex, and an Iron Horse. While I haven’t personally spoken with Jason, I can deduce that the Monster Truck must be to transport the Monster in the event he should need a ride, the ground effects (Bigfeet love carnivals, lights, etc.) are to lure the monster in, the bike to track him through the wilderness, and the Soloflex is to stay in shape in case Jason and Bigfoot were ever to square off toe–to-toe (Judging from the Beef Jerkey Commercials Big Feet/Sasquatches are pretty strong).

Randall Scott Cycle Company is proud to be a part of the search that will finally bring this elusive animal the exposure it deserves. Not convinced? As Jason points out on his website, bigfoothunterlive.com., people were once scrutinized, marginalized, harassed, and even killed for beliefs that were later proven true i.e. The World Being Round, Earth being the center of the universe, or even the suggestion that man would someday walk on the moon.

Soon we hope to see footage of Bigfoot chasing gazelle, killing cattle, and knocking down trees in a breathable, stylish, Randall Scott Team Short Sleeve Jersey. So Randall Scott’s Iron Horses’ are now officially used for Mountain Biking, Free Riding, Downhill, Commuting, Road Biking, and Bigfoot Hunting. If you use your Iron Horse in yet another line of work, let us know, so we can continue to document the endless possibilities of these riding machines.

“Live Free Or Die” How We Ride in NH

A lot of people here in Colorado question my riding, so I'd just like to set the record stright.

When General John Stark sent a written toast in his stead to the anniversary reunion of the Battle of Bennington, he confirmed something that New Hampshirites had known for a while: we’re the baddest state in the union. “Live Free or die: Death is not the worst of evils,” was how Stark concluded his toast, and how New Hampshire cemented its place as the center of the universe.

Bed-Sty, South Central, and 8-mile are all considered ‘tough’ neighborhoods – but if you truly want to see the wrath of God, try to charge someone sales tax in the heart of West Lebanon, NH. A writer for The Onion once quipped, “New Hampshire’s motto should be, ‘Where douchbags go to college.’” His balls now rest on the mantle of UNH’s Phi Beta Kappa fraternity. It’s no coincidence that Clint Eastwood, Bruce Willis, Tony Montana and Jack Palance all hail from the Granite State.

Now, don’t get me wrong, New Hampshire is not a place where senseless violence and social injustice run rampant, but a place where ideals precede desire, where freedom rings from Mt. Washington to the Atlantic coast, where young boys are taught to hunt with their bare hands, where diversity is a thing of the future, and where after a shot of tequila, instead of licking salt and sucking lime, you eat the shot glass.

And, being from New Hampshire, this is my favorite time of year in Colorado. This is the time of year when all the piano players pack up their mountain biking gear and leave the trails to me. Is there anything better than climbing to 10,000 feet on an empty trail in -5° with the mountain breeze whipping up your jean cut-offs? Not likely.

People always ask me, “Don’t your fingers get cold without gloves?” The answer is, No they don’t, because a goddamn mountain lion cheap shotted me and ate them while I had him in a headlock, even after I called no biting. Then people ask me, “What if you get stuck in a blizzard on the trail with only shorts and jack knife?” It’s like they’ve never killed a bear, ripped out its entrails and slept in the carcass before.

Yes, the winter climb in Colorado is great, but the descent is what I live for – eyes bleeding, legs shaking, pedals embedded in my bare feet – you know you’re alive. It reminds of when my mom used to tie to the back of the snowmobile for trips to the grocery.

Occasionally I’ll pass someone else riding skins in December. We just nod and say, “Live free or die.”

Our COO gives us candid answers in an interview about an epic ride

Yes, I know. This isn’t the Phillip Seymour Hoffman chronicle I promised, but it will be here soon. The photos are stuck in the bureaucracy of our PR department (aka: my boss is sick of me playing with photoshop all day.) But, lucky for you our COO, Sammy Mishkin, went on an (yes I’m going to say it) Epic ride this Saturday, and even though he’s extremely busy and going to get real annoyed with me, I’m going to interview him about the ride right now.

Mac: Where did you go?

Sam: White Ranch in Golden, Colorado – part of the Jefferson County Trail System

Mac: Which bike did you ride?
Sam: 2006 MKIII Team

Mac: Who went?
Sam: Chris, Dan, Robbie, Sean, and myself

Mac: Out of these people, who’s your least favorite?
Sam: Sean

Mac: Are you the best Mountainbiker at Randall Scott?
Sam: Yes

Mac: What makes White Ranch so epic.
Sam: uuuhm, the diverse terrain, intense climbs, scenic views, and gnarly single tracks

Mac: If there was a helicopter following you, would you be on an extreme video.
Sam: Most Definitely

Mac: What’s your ultimate riding playlist?
Sam: The Backcountry Pizza Sunday Mix

Mac: You’re not Canadian – but you like hockey, why?
Sam: Pass (not even a smile)

Mac: Who’s better, Gordon Bombay or Gordon Howe?
Sam: Howe

Mac: Have you ever successfully executed a flying V?
Sam: Never

Mac: Then why do you bring a picture of Emilio Estevez with you to your stylist?
Sam: It’s Macgyver not Estivez

Mac: Why do you have a stylist?
Sam: My parents are rich

Alright, I can tell by the fire in Sam's eyes that this interview is over.....but stay tuned for much anticipated Chrinocles Of Phillip.

Mac

They're Here and EVERYONE is Wearing them!

Well, we knew they were going to be a hit – we just didn’t know they were going to be this big. The Randall Scott Cycle Company jerseys arrived yesterday and it didn’t take for the paparazzi photos to start rolling in. Brittany ordered a few for her babies, Paris ordered one for Federline, Federline ordered one for Brandi, and Brandi ordered one for Huey Lewis. But check some pics of other stars moonlighting in RS apparel.........
..(Rachel and Ryan in Love and in style)

(Jen on the Red Carpet)

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..............

.............L(Lance on a bike again.....riding for Randall Scott Cycle Company?)

Stay tuned, as we just received word PSH (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) was busted on camera - in Scotty J form - doing some things he shouldn't have: pictures will be published here tomorrow.

A Guy, A Bike, A Girl, and a Two-Person Tent: Something Had to Give

I love my girlfriend, I really do – but sometimes she just acts ‘nuckin futs (Dickie Roberts Child Star)’ for no reason.. She’s an amazing cook, a certified masseuse, has a tattoo that reads, “Live Free Or Die” stretching across her back, likes to watch Sportscenter four times in a row, and get this – she’s a scratch golfer. She’s also a total sweetheart, which is why I decided to take her on a special camping trip into the White Mountains for our anniversary.

The beginning of the trip was amazing: we drove the Kangamangus Highway at the peak of foliage season. We pulled over just before noon to talk about feelings and eat an exquisite picnic of carpaccio and figs. The hike was a little strenuous for me, as I was hauling my Iron Horse MK3 Team with me (she didn’t even offer to help, but that’s fine) in order to get a little ride in tomorrow morning before she woke up.

As we finished setting up camp in the warmth of the descending sun I pulled out my travel acoustic. I had written a song for her titled “Housecat”, and I serenaded her with the passion of a young John Denver. Massages and kisses ran roughshod through our campsite for the remainder of the evening until Mr. Sandman paid us a visit and we lay down to bed.

This is when things began to go south. I whispered, ‘sleep tight my little girlscout’ and received no reply. I tossed her out an extra pillow, but it was rifled right back at me. As I drifted to sleep I thought I her mumble something about my bike and a sledgehammer – what a jokester. She laughed herself to sleep.

Everything’s fine, right? Wrong. The next morning she stole my car while I was on my bike ride. Chicks are crazy.

How long until you’re riding a Magnesium Frame?

Well, depending on who you ask, the answer could be, ‘sooner than you think,’ or ‘never.’ In the cycling industry, the search for lighter and stronger materials will always be unremitting as manufacturers compete to develop the technologies that will allow them to fabricate frames and components with the best possible strength to weight ratio.And, for a while now, magnesium has been simultaneously alluring and frustrating to engineers.

At first glance, magnesium’s characteristics would suggest that it’s a ‘can’t miss’ candidate to create the next generation of bikes. Magnesium is two-thirds the density of Aluminum (and is said to have higher vibration damping), as strong or stronger, and is the eighth most abundant element on earth. So, you can see why engineers are inherently drawn to this metal when examining possibilities for the future. However, the element’s semi-volatile nature and pitfalls in the manufacturing process have been enough to keep the production of magnesium bikes from becoming a financially viable option for large companies.

While I mentioned magnesium’s intrinsic strengths in the context of bike building, it also has some intrinsic weaknesses. When in alloys or in mass magnesium is extremely stable, but when shaved, in powder form, or in extremely small quantities, magnesium is exceptionally flammable. This is not so much a worry for the final products, but during manufacturing the element is often utilized in these fickle states and there have been reports of small amounts of magnesium combusting in factory settings.

Magnesium also, although slowly, reacts with oxygen and water - making its resistance to tarnishing and deterioration less than that of the commonly used metals in today’s bikes.

Along with these concerns are the problems with efficiently fabricating high performance frames and parts from the metal. Magnesium is decidedly harder to weld than aluminum or steel, and is usually fabricated via die-casting. Die casting, at this juncture, is extremely costly, and each different frame size or component line would require its own cast, making the cost of production fairly exorbitant.

(Fox's 32F80 Fork)

That being said, magnesium has been an integral part in the production of space shuttles, airplanes, automobile engines, and has been crafted, by select manufacturers, into high end bicycles. I’ve never ridden a magnesium bike, but read reviews that claim the disparity is comparable to that of steel and aluminum. Many upper tier components are currently forged from magnesium, and it is commonly used on the lower legs of high end front suspensions, like many of Fox Racing’s F Series, to increase damping and save grams.

The bottom line is that, for manufacturers right now, the inability to ensure quality control and the inflated costs of researching and manufacturing magnesium bikes outweigh the potential benefits. Many people feel that technology is on the verge of finding solutions to these problems, while others see a long expensive road that will inevitably lead to more problems. I guess only time will tell.