Brown Chicken Brown Cow

As one who has dedicated his life to cycling for the last 15 years I am often asked what brought me to the world of wheels. Was it the rush of a mountain decent, the challenge of the steep climb, the calorie burning fitness or mechanical wonderment of it all? No…it was amateur pornography. Allow me to explain…

Once upon a time I was more interested on my BAC (blood alcohol content) than my HR (heart rate) and “smoking the competition” meant buying Camels instead or Marlboros. The bottle I drank from most came from Lynchburg, Tennessee and recovery was a 12-step program instead of a nap and massage. This all came to a boiling point one night when I was leaving a bar after too many shots of straight vodka. There was a car crash, broken glass and the axle of an oncoming car spinning down the boulevard. Luckily vodka doesn’t have a smell and I blamed my poor driving on the rain. I also had to stop making Ted Kennedy jokes as of that day. [Authors note: Driving drunk is for idiots that should be thrown in jail to clean toilets with their personal toothbrush.]

Without a car I was forced to ask for rides from co-workers and friends. One girl I worked with lived the same direction as me from work so she was the obvious candidate for a ride. After two weeks of bumming rides she asked me if she could take me out to the woods and take photos of me…me naked that is! I felt a little uncomfortable and really wanted out of the car at that moment. I saw a sign for a bike shop and asked the girl to pull over. I got out of the car and walked into the shop and bought a Schwinn High Plains mountain bike for $333.99. I rode home with what was left of my dignity and my life would be forever changed.

My first real ride was about 20 minutes long and I thought I was going to die. I wore Umbro soccer shorts and a t-shirt and I didn’t bring any water. At the time I weighed about 213 pounds and my favorite snack was a Wendy’s Frosty with a box of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls included for extra taste. The front of all my jeans were permanently creased like and accordion from the bulk of my belly cresting over the denim waistband and my shirts never stayed tucked in. All in all I was a typical nicotine addicted fat ass with a Budweiser jones.

Soon the rides got a little longer and I started to eat better. The smoking lessened and the beer was replaced with water for the weekdays. I noticed the weight was starting to go down and my energy was going up. I learned about some crazy race call the Tour de France and I was glued to the poor weekend television coverage that was offered in the United States. Greg LeMond was my new hero and David Lee Roth was moved to second place.

After two years of this behavior I was purchasing a new bike (with money saved from quitting smoking) and was meeting the locals for the morning group rides. I lost 40 pounds and my family was scared that I had a fatal disease since I lost so much weight. I felt better about myself and I avoided a career in the pornography business. There is one lesson out of this transformation that I will never forget and want to get out to everyone: Just Ride.

Just Ride, It is that simple. A mountain bike, road bike, cruiser…it doesn’t matter. Just start pedaling and a smile will appear on your face and you feel like a kid again. Do it for a cause, do it for fun or just to escape a life of nude photos like me. Whatever the reason (there doesn’t even need to be one) just turn the cranks and get the legs moving. See the neighborhood in a way you can’t from the car. Go down roads that have no purpose and leave the cell phone at home. Knowing what I know now, feeling the way I do and seeing the places I have seen from the saddle I cannot imagine a life without cycling. The other blessing in my life is that I get to design bikes for consumers knowing they will love the ride and hopefully find as many amazing adventures as I have over the years. I also get to meet a lot of cool people (watch your toes, name dropping coming up) like George Hincapie, Steve Bauer, Lance, Greg LeMond, Wayne Stetina, Sam Hill, Davis Phinney, Jonathan Vaughters, Carole Sharpless, Becky Lavelle and Bella Comerford.

Thanks for reading. Now get out there and just ride!

T.R. Maloney

Product Manager 

Tommaso Bicycles

MTB v Road: Not Sure Who Won Here

We all ride bikes for different reasons, while we do not recommend you riding your bike like these crazy guys, we all love our bikes. Ride your bike however gets you excited to get out and ride it.
I think this is a step in the right direction for making the drug filled Tour de France exciting again, I think these guys should have road gapped the course and flipped it instead of exposing their bikes to the treachery of the cold mountain water. In the event you want to subject your bicycle to this sort of punishment, check out our maintenance section.

Boulder Indoor Cycling

At long last Boulder, CO final will have its very own Velodrome. With only a handful of Velodromes in the US, Colorado seems to be killing it. This will be only the second indoor wood velodrome track in the US. So next Tuesday the track is scheduled for completion and will be opening soon after Thanksgiving (Dec. 1st) so gear up get that new track bike so you look supper awesome on the first day. You can find a list of all the tracks in the world HERE. So now you have no excuses to get out there.

Let it snow, let it snow, LET IT SNOW!

This week marks the opening of a number of the ski resorts here in Colorado. As far as I am concerned no other sports exists other than snowboarding right now. Sure it is still sunny enough at our HQ in Boulder to ride my bike, but after a summer of opportunity for that the winter is looking mighty tasty.

For me snowboarding is the ultimate escape. Looking out over a valley from the mountain top is ecstasy. And although I have a pass and will be at the resort that doesn’t compare to the rest after a long hike up the mountain to board some untouched powder. The only thing worse than the actual hike is having to carry the board, so for the first time ever I have purchased the Osprey Switch to carry my board for me. Sure, it isn’t as good as the robot I have been building on the weekends but it is crazy affordable and offers everything you could need in a snowboard/ski pack.

I am extremely particular about the gear I use. Which is why I protect my board in a snowboard bag and head with helmet and goggles. There is no fun to be had in a hospital bed, I promise!

All in all, this is a great time of year and if you are as excited as I am then I will see you at the slopes, EVERY WEEKEND!

And remember if going downhill fast isn’t your thing there is always snowshoeing.

Les!

Well it is November and I have received some pertinent fan mail. Today's fan mail comes from the a southern girl who is wanting to fight off the chill of the fall/winter ride. Preparation and proper clothing can make riding year round a great time. There is no reason to stop riding when the leaves fall of the trees. The key is to dress in layers and keep a diary.

Dear Diary...I talked to Max today and he is so cool...

OK, not that kind of diary. A clothes diary will prove to be a good companion for years to come. Record the temperature before you leave for a ride (or run) and write down what you are wearing. Then when you return from the ride make a note if you were too hot, too cold or just right. Then when the temps return to that level you can refer to the notes and dress right. Now that I have a clothes diary I am always ready to ride no matter the temps. I feel for those poor souls who start wrapping their feet in plastic grocery bags half way through the ride. For God's sake man, have some style!

Some of my favorite items are a thin hat for under the helmet, good gloves and wool socks. Arm warmers (a.k.a. arm Kleenex) and knee/leg warmers are a must for fall/winter riding. The holidays should not be lost on crappy non-cycling related gifts. Make a list or email the link to rscycle.com to family, friends and secret lovers...I mean..."special friends."

Until next time: Start your diary, be safe and keep riding!

Max D.

Fan mail, questions and creative Haiku poetry can be left below in the comment section.